5 Things You Don’t Need to Apologize For
Taking Care of Yourself
Trust me, we understand why you do it.
Maybe, you’re the only one able to take care of the family. Maybe, you have the most time to do what’s needed. Maybe, you’re the only one that seems to care. You’re probably used to having the weight of the world on your shoulders.
You work well under pressure and you have a caring heart to help others. But, as much as we all can appreciate your capacity for love and resilience, you have to remember to care for yourself.
How do you expect to hold up the ones you love if you’re about to crumble? You must be a strong vessel for yourself first.
During an airplane safety demonstration, they always tell adults to put the oxygen mask on themselves first before they assist any children or neighboring passengers. You have to make sure to breathe life into yourself before you can worry about breathing in life to others. Otherwise, is it the best you have to give?
The Way You Look
Social media is a blessing and a curse. Though it inspires and connects us internationally to businesses and people of similar interests, it promotes an atmosphere of comparison based on likes, followers, and in some cases, that coveted blue check.
It’s incredibly unhealthy for a developing generation, who is still learning who they are, be bombarded with images every day “telling” you what you should be, how you should look, and what to stand for.
This is simply adding on unachievable goals to people’s already existing stress for their life. You need to be confident in who you are individually. You are unique and that is WHY you don’t look or act exactly like everyone else.
Don’t get caught up in comparing what you see online, in magazines, on TV, or even around your town. Everything is constructed in some way. Everything is more than it seems. The only thing you do know about for sure is you.
You know what you know you like. You know what you don’t. You prefer to wear guys t-shirts and Vans over miniskirts and heels? That’s dope, babe! Fashion is what you make it. The same goes for everything else. If you love how you look and you feel good about yourself, forget about how the rest of the world will view you. The world will always judge and will always have something to say. Stand above the noise.
Feeling Your Feelings
Life gets hard. Things happen. Moments come where we just want to stop and break down. Sometimes we want the world to stop so we can breathe.
Don’t listen to the people that tell you not to break down and shame you for crying. If you’ve reached that point where you feel you’re about to crack, that’s your body telling you there is built up energy you need to release. Release that pressure inside of you and deal with it — even if it’s hard. That pain actually NEEDS to be unpacked for your own sake and health. The painful emotions are what we have to process through in order to heal and grow. That’s how we move forward — by feeling our feelings.
You don’t have to do it alone. I’m sure when it comes to being vulnerable, not wanting to burden our loved ones with our problems is to be expected. We want to be accommodating. That respect for another’s feelings is something we should all exhibit. However, your loved ones are there for a reason. Trust them. You know who will be emotionally available for you. If you’re not sure, test around. See what kind of community is truly living around you. It’s important to know who you’re surrounding yourself.
Be unapologetic about your feelings. And be sure that you value your community enough to know that you need the right people around to not pressure you on how you should feel.
Developing a solid support system is imperative to living a healthy life. You’re human. Humans are wired to connect and interact with one another. If you’re going through a hard time, it’s in your nature to want to rely on someone — and you should. You have people in your life that love you and want to support you. You just have to let them in.
Cutting Off Toxic Relationships
We put up with a lot for the sake of love, stability, and companionship. Even if it means sacrificing our resources, self-esteem, and peace of mind. Yet, it doesn’t matter what they give you or who it is: a family member, a friend, a boss, a partner, even you — anyone can be toxic. And when they are, you need to let them go.
First things first, don’t apologize for their behavior. And second, don’t apologize for not conforming and acting appropriately to their disrespectful behavior.
Any relationship that takes away from your peace and your truth isn’t there to build you up. And you should never feel you’re below someone, less than, not good enough, or unworthy/unlovable. None of that is true. And it never will be true to the point that you feel you need to stick around.
Unfortunately, as much as we may hope things can change, maybe the time isn’t now and you are hurting yourself by staying in an environment that is only going to damage you. You have to be strong enough to love someone from a distance if you feel they’re unable to treat you the way you need and deserve. That’s self- love. A bloodline doesn’t demand you stay around to be mistreated. The same goes for “time”, a lease, marriage, engagement, or friendship. Love is unconditional and respect is omnipresent.
Saying No
How often do you overextend yourself for others? Often? Not enough, or at all? Whatever the answer, the incentive is admirable but there are limits. You need to know when to say no and when to not overextend yourself.
Doing too much for some people can open you up to being taken advantage of. Your time and labor are valuable. If you were at work and exhausted, you wouldn’t necessarily agree to do more work than you’re required. So why not practice that mindset in other aspects of your life? You are not a superhero, even if you feel like one. You have to be brave enough to say “NO”.
Watch the parties that don’t respect your no.
Boundaries exist for a reason. We create boundaries to protect us but they also help us regulate who respect those boundaries and who don’t.
You are up against so much already. Life is not easy. It may never well be. What makes it easy to deal with, is how we react to it. Make the best of your life by choosing to do so.
It starts on the inside. You matter before anything else, and that’s okay. These five things you should never have to apologize and there is power in there. Don’t forget your power.
Published originally on Its Her Purpose (itsherpurpose.com)
